If I Were Katie Couric...

This is how last week's series of interviews would have unfolded:

TalentUnltd: You’ve cited Alaska’s proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

Sarah Palin: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and, on our other side, the land-boundary that we have with Canada. It’s funny that a comment like that was kinda made to … I don’t know, you know … reporters.

TalentUnltd: Ummm, I KNOWWW you're not expecting me to finish your d@&n sentence. You did after all, attend SIX colleges. You should have a vast variety of vocabulary to complete your statement. But if I must... Mocked?

Palin: Yeah, mocked, I guess that’s the word, yeah.

TalentUnltd: Well, explain to me why that enhances your foreign-policy credentials.

Palin:Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of. And there…

TalentUnltd: (Visibly getting impatient) Have you ever been involved in any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

Palin:We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.

TalentUnltd: (Eyebrows furrow) So basically, you are equating your foreign policy experience to that of someone who lives in Michigan and can drive across a bridge and be in Canada. So does that make every Michigander an expert in foreign policy, should they have to negotiate with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police? I'm just sayin'...

To be continued... (Ya'll know this interview is "gonna" have vast variety of parts... I'll get back to YA!!