With the exception of My Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, there are tons of things that I can do without. For example, my summer house in the West Hamptons (in my wildest dreams...), that awful mid-season replacement for Lost, Daybreak, that crappy a$$ My9 network (formerly known as UPN) primetime programming (really, what the faheezy???) , a loser boyfriend, (some people enjoy torturing themselves I suppose) But...I choose not to go on without:
5. Crystal Light On The Go Packets:
How about this folks? Do you hate drinking water like I do? Well, Crystal Light On The Go Packets are a surefire way of making me feel like I'm drinking juice instead of water. You can mix one on the go packet with a 16.9 oz. bottle of Poland Spring or whichever brand you fancy. You can drink as much as you want because it's sugarfree. But you know what they say about sugarfree foods and beverages... so that's a risk you may have to take in order to partake of a little "juicy water" as I have so cleverly dubbed it if I do say so myself.
4. Orville Redenbacher's Smart Pop Mini Bags:
There is something to be said for being able to eat an entire bag of microwave popcorn and only taking in 100 (you heard it hear first, folks) 100 calories!!! First of all, the fact that it takes less time to pop is one of its best features, especially for a greedy pig like me. As if waiting an extra 2 to 2-1/2 minutes is really going to cause me to starve to death. Chile, if you know like I know that's what it feels like... Another tasty tidbit given to me by my girl Bee: sprinkle a little grated parmesan cheese and you'll have yourself a cheeeeesy popcorn treat! I'll sit down and watch of her BRAVO rated movies when it comes out on cable. You know I can't afford to go to the movies in New York City!
3. Clear Deodorant (NO WHITE MARKS!!)
Need I elaborate?? Ok, if I must... How many times have you found yourself pi$$ed off because this top you were eyeing went on sale and there was only one left in your size and you take it off the clothes rack to find to your disgust and dismay: BIG A$$ WHITE STREAKS OF SOME RANDOM CHICK'S DEODORANT WHO COULD NOT BOTHER TO TAKE THE TIME TO CAREFULLY AND GINGERLY PUT ON AND TAKE OFF THE ITEM WHILE TRYING IT ON?!?!? Enough said...
2. TEXT MESSAGING ABBREVIATIONS!!
There's nothing like knowing that you can skip all of the formalities of making a phone call especially when it's someone that you know you really don't feel like talking to but you just need to know the answer to one itty bitty little question all by just typing in a couple of letters that spell out an entire statement so that you can move on with your life without having to have a 10-minute conversation to ask a 20-second question and recieve at 5-second response. For example, while shopping for your coworker's baby shower gift you realized that you forgot the invitation at home. You know the one person that can answer your question is Annoying A$$ Amy from Accounting. Instead of calling her you can just text her like: Da baby MorF? She doesn't even have to type an entire sentence. Her response could simply be M if it's a boy or F if it's a girl... Ok, maybe that was a really wack example, but let's keep it real, the text messaging craze has become a good friend to many, especially when you don't feel like talking to a mofo...
1. OptimumOnline Digital iO-DVR ultimately known as TIVO
Once you get some "Control Live TV" running through your veins, there is NOOOO TURNING BACK!!! You will always pay your cable bill on time just to ensure that all your "tivo" capabilities remain intact. I can record two shows on two different stations at the same time and watch a third show that has already been saved onto the DVR. Half of the time, I don't even watch the show at the exact time that it comes on so that I can fast forward through the commercials! Woo-hoo!!!Woo-hoo-hoo!!!Woo-hoo!!!Woo-hoo-hoo!!! (Insert Theme Song for VONAGE here) I no longer have to worry about missing one of my favorite shows to watch one of my other favorite shows!! If you're not up on the Tivo craze, you really need to make that happen in '07. People... people... people... can I get a witness all up and through here?!?!
5. Crystal Light On The Go Packets:
How about this folks? Do you hate drinking water like I do? Well, Crystal Light On The Go Packets are a surefire way of making me feel like I'm drinking juice instead of water. You can mix one on the go packet with a 16.9 oz. bottle of Poland Spring or whichever brand you fancy. You can drink as much as you want because it's sugarfree. But you know what they say about sugarfree foods and beverages... so that's a risk you may have to take in order to partake of a little "juicy water" as I have so cleverly dubbed it if I do say so myself.
4. Orville Redenbacher's Smart Pop Mini Bags:
There is something to be said for being able to eat an entire bag of microwave popcorn and only taking in 100 (you heard it hear first, folks) 100 calories!!! First of all, the fact that it takes less time to pop is one of its best features, especially for a greedy pig like me. As if waiting an extra 2 to 2-1/2 minutes is really going to cause me to starve to death. Chile, if you know like I know that's what it feels like... Another tasty tidbit given to me by my girl Bee: sprinkle a little grated parmesan cheese and you'll have yourself a cheeeeesy popcorn treat! I'll sit down and watch of her BRAVO rated movies when it comes out on cable. You know I can't afford to go to the movies in New York City!
3. Clear Deodorant (NO WHITE MARKS!!)
Need I elaborate?? Ok, if I must... How many times have you found yourself pi$$ed off because this top you were eyeing went on sale and there was only one left in your size and you take it off the clothes rack to find to your disgust and dismay: BIG A$$ WHITE STREAKS OF SOME RANDOM CHICK'S DEODORANT WHO COULD NOT BOTHER TO TAKE THE TIME TO CAREFULLY AND GINGERLY PUT ON AND TAKE OFF THE ITEM WHILE TRYING IT ON?!?!? Enough said...
2. TEXT MESSAGING ABBREVIATIONS!!
There's nothing like knowing that you can skip all of the formalities of making a phone call especially when it's someone that you know you really don't feel like talking to but you just need to know the answer to one itty bitty little question all by just typing in a couple of letters that spell out an entire statement so that you can move on with your life without having to have a 10-minute conversation to ask a 20-second question and recieve at 5-second response. For example, while shopping for your coworker's baby shower gift you realized that you forgot the invitation at home. You know the one person that can answer your question is Annoying A$$ Amy from Accounting. Instead of calling her you can just text her like: Da baby MorF? She doesn't even have to type an entire sentence. Her response could simply be M if it's a boy or F if it's a girl... Ok, maybe that was a really wack example, but let's keep it real, the text messaging craze has become a good friend to many, especially when you don't feel like talking to a mofo...
And my NUMBER ONE THING that I Cannot and Will Not Live Without is... ... ...
DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!
DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!
1. OptimumOnline Digital iO-DVR ultimately known as TIVO
Once you get some "Control Live TV" running through your veins, there is NOOOO TURNING BACK!!! You will always pay your cable bill on time just to ensure that all your "tivo" capabilities remain intact. I can record two shows on two different stations at the same time and watch a third show that has already been saved onto the DVR. Half of the time, I don't even watch the show at the exact time that it comes on so that I can fast forward through the commercials! Woo-hoo!!!Woo-hoo-hoo!!!Woo-hoo!!!Woo-hoo-hoo!!! (Insert Theme Song for VONAGE here) I no longer have to worry about missing one of my favorite shows to watch one of my other favorite shows!! If you're not up on the Tivo craze, you really need to make that happen in '07. People... people... people... can I get a witness all up and through here?!?!
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